My first chemo treatment was in March 2022. Since then, I’ve done chemo every other week (minus a few missed treatments for various reasons here and there). I don’t know how many chemo treatments I’ve done total now, it’s just a part of my “normal” life now. Every six chemo cycles (roughly every 12 weeks), I get a CT scan of my abdomen to see what the cancer is doing. My last scan was on August 1st.
It’s always scary getting the CT scan. The scan itself isn’t scary, it’s the whole waiting for the results that scares me. They always tell me that they’ll call me right away if it’s something critical, otherwise we discuss it at the next chemo treatment session. Basically, if I get the phone call right after the CT…there’s a chance I’ll die in the next two weeks and I’ll have to come in. No phone call is good, but it also means sitting there for two weeks wondering if the cancer has grown, shrunk, stayed the same, etc.
I didn’t get the phone call from August 1st’s CT scan and today was the discussion of it, and well, it’s not all bad news. Everything on the scan was “stable”. The tumors have not shrunk, but they also did not grow. My enlarged spleen has stayed the same size and the abdominal fluid hasn’t increased either. Depending how you look at it, it’s a half glass full, half empty scenario. Things didn’t get better, but they didn’t get worse….it’s just…stable.
Every chemo session starts out Tuesdays at roughly 0730 with a lab draw to see how things are looking blood work wise. I’ve been consistently low in several areas…my hemoglobin, potassium, and magnesium. My hemoglobin is several points lower than a normal person. This is why I am winded going up a flight of steps, get tired out easily, etc. As my one doctor put it, if her hemoglobin was at my levels, she’d be on the floor passed out. Several times I’ve been to the point of consideration of a blood transfusion.
August 1st’s blood work showed I was still low on everything but the tumor marker was down slightly (which certainly helped my anxiety about the CT scan). This week’s blood was much better. My hemoglobin was still pretty low but my potassium and magnesium were above the low indicator for the first time in a long time!
Finally, I’ve still got my abdominal pain. The docs figure it’s caused by the scar tissue from the tumors. As I eat and food moves through me, well, it hits those scarred areas and causes me pain. Sometimes the pain is so bad I cannot get off the couch, I cannot walk, I cannot even move. I just sit there, literally screaming, and waiting for the pain meds to kick in. They take roughly 40-60 minutes to kick in and only last 3-4 hours. Other times the pain is there but to a lesser degree and I can move around, a little slower, but still faster than the elderly shopping at Walmart. I live every single day in pain right now so I have an upcoming appointment with a pain specialist doctor to try and figure out something that will work for me. Once we get the pain figured out, I can go back to work. I miss working. I want to work. I’m not the type to sit around on the couch, doing nothing. Let’s hope we can get it all figured out soon.
As for me? I’m doing alright still. The hospital has a good selection of beverages and food I can order during the chemo sessions. Today, I went with a nice fountain lemonade and it’s certainly hitting the spot for me. Emotionally? Can’t beat yourself up for something you can’t control. Can’t be down in the dumps all of the time being mopey. As a beautiful someone once put it, “we have lots of shit to do yet [in life]”. I live by those words.
