Just an update to everything going on in my life here at the hospital. I have three options right now after surgery and the way I’ve been feeling:
Option 1) is truly go onto hospice
Option 2) is slowly drop the pain meds and see how I’m doing and see if I can survive without them.
Option 3) is just go home cold turkey….no pain meds, nothing.
We’re gonna start Option 2 tomorrow and see how I do. I obviously don’t want to break any progress moving forward so that doesn’t make much sense to me at all. Please don’t send me any, “I’m sorry, “this isn’t fair”, how can I help, etc” type of messages. At the beginning of ALL of this, I didn’t want it and I still don’t want them. I CAN do this. I have an open, positive mind already and know what giving up option 2 means. I have a ferocious Mama Gayle and little sister who is already pushing me, a long with a girlfriend who is pushing me v hard too. I can’t appreciate them ENOUGH either!! Thank you to the mystery person who dropped off the American flag half blanket as well for motivation too….fuck yeah!!! It’s not thin blue or red line but nothing says America more than tha!!! PS: I don’t need anymore blankets lol.
Appreciate Ben, Keith, Kyley, Mama Gayle, the whole BNSO, SLFD, and WBSO depts….and most importantly…..EVERYONE who is reading this. I feel it. I’m fighting. I’m not giving this fucking battle up!!
OK, so I won’t leave you an I’m sorry note or crap like that; instead I’ll tell you to fight and get back at it because you’re a fighter!! You have a large group of radio nerds that are right beside you…with radios.
With Option #2, make sure your friends are close by to take care of anything.